Facing The Scary Days And Nights Is What Turns You Into Your Own Hero
- by Sofia Blue
- Jun 16, 2017
- 2 min read
My husband sent me this photo some time ago and it came at the right time. I was already too exhausted to live. I was functionless, useless and felt so much guilt, so so much guilt. It was eating me inside like a disease. I felt like a burden to my husband because he had to be my hero. But then he sent me that and said: "you are so brave, you are this little girl". This simple, short message meant so much. Means so much. I like to look at it when I feel down and remind myself - I have gone a long way. I have learnt, fell, survived, lived and died infinite times.
I used to think I was much tougher 6 years ago before my depression hit me the strongest. Fact is, though, it is now that I am the strongest I have been in my life. Not many people can handle what we are going through. Not many people can even imagine what it is like to want to die because a monster is destroying you on the inside and there is little to nothing to do about it. Not many people can grasp a portion of the fact that a mental illness like this one even exists. After all if you don't see it, it is not real, right? You'll be surprised how many people actually think this way.
But you and I, we are not those people. We know first hand what it is like to want to die so bad because the pain is too extreme. I will write something that is very controversial and you might hate me for it. But here it is - depression is worse than cancer. With cancer you know what is wrong with you. With depression it takes years of therapy and pills, and you still might not know why you feel this way. With cancer you have the support of everyone around you. With depression people say: "Get yourself together". There is this beautiful video by Hope For Depression about treating someone with cancer the same way you would treat someone with depression.
So my dear, are you a hero? Fuck yeah! Are you a surviver? Hell yeah! Are you aware of that? Probably not. Take a look at that photo above once again. And you will realize - you ARE your own hero!
Keep fighting!
With love,
Sofia Blue
a
Comments